The Prophet's Revenge

Alas, like all cornered beasts, bonehead King Dough-Menoe
blindly, stupidly lashed out in fight.

He roused Bad Odor and his Wartime Jesters' Roundtable
(also known as WJR, longtime keepers of the Voice), as they
lay in bed together, and he instructed them to subdue the
populace through intimidation, threats and aerial static.

But the people would not be cowed anymore - they had sniffed
through the veiling mist of B.O., the greedy and opportunistic
hired gun from the Arbor of Ann, and they had become inured
to his despicable aura, and he overwhelmed them no more.

So the people marched and protested, and they refused to deliver
homage to Dough-Menoe, choosing instead to support the King's
hated arch-rival, the Jilted Suitor Caesare the Little.

(Caesare the Little had always lusted after Tigris Detroitus, and
although his motives were true, and his adoration great, Old King
Fetzer had rebuffed his advances.

Forlorn, Caesare the Little married into the Crimson Feather
Empire, during the great ice famine of the 80's, and on the bank
of River Detroitus, he constructed a mighty snow fortress, made
of fallen angel wings and large sheets of glistening, glittering ice.

There he would reside during the winter, avoiding conflict with
Dough-Menoe by migrating south at the turtle's song, waiting his
turn, waiting his turn...)

And when the panicked King Dough-Menoe recognized his inevitable
demise, he had a change of heart. He summoned Prophet Harwell and
begged him to take back half his Voice. The King would keep the other
half as ransom.

But the Prophet had become embittered, for he was a loyal subject, a
profitless Prophet who had always faithfully honored his Kings, and he
simply could not fathom the utter cruelty of his King's abandonment.

So the Prophet, in essence, told the King that his Majesty could stick
his small microphone up BO's arbor, and together the King and BO
could sing a melancholy duet.

Of course, the Prophet was much more subtle in his description,
perfect gentleman that he always was...

And then Prophet Harwell was happy, for he knew that his people
loved and worshipped him, the lovely Prophetess Lu-Lu most of all.

Desperate, the beleaguered King tried to buy the Prophet's goodwill
by offering him a seat in his court. The Prophet, however, informed
the King that he did not court a seat, he had one at home, thank you,
and that he was, in is own words, "Long gone!"

And the King was ousted from his throne, and he fled the Kingdom
in disgrace, disguised as a holy man, abandoning the tyrant Bad Odor
to the southwest breaking wind.

And Tigris Detroitus celebrated and rejoiced...

Hall of Famer Ernie Harwell